haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
