i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
