only if we run a train.
done.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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