just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
