Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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