I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
high people should be assigned attendants
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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