i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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