Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
