I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
