I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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