Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
