She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
