I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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