i can't believe i had my finger in that
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
