In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
