now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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