I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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