how can u be prego again
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
