I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We are all done wearing pants today
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
