i think my mom watched the whole time
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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