the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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