I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i now understand why vodka
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
