Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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