that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
