the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I came so hard my ears popped.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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