it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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