come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
