just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
