ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
