I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
