i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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