I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
