the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
