why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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