I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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