you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
