She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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