I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
