Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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