If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
