not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
don't judge my taste in strippers
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
