Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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