Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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