I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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