Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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