Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
