her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
