thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
