If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
