i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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